An apartment, obviously shared by three people who don’t have a lot of money, or a lot of time to spend at home. All are aged somewhere between 25-35. Fairly nondescript as far as looks, style, etc. Mike is slightly more noticeable than Zach and Liz.
Zach
Liz
Mike
Late in the evening – around 11 PM. Zach sits in the living room, in front of the TV. It’s clear he’s only a step away from sleeping – he probably couldn’t tell you what he’s watching.
Liz enters.
Liz: Hey.
Zach: Oh, hey.
Liz sits. She is obviously exhausted.
Zach: What time is it?
Liz: I think around 11. Maybe 11:30. We got off a little early.
Zach: I was going to say – I didn’t think I was going to see you.
Liz: Mikey around?
Zach: He’s out. Had to get a few drinks with his gang.
Liz: His “gang”?
Zach: The other apprentices. Whatever you call them. Yawns. I’m tired.
Liz: Yawns. Me too. Is tomorrow your day off?
Zach: Yawns again. No, Friday.
Liz: Fighting a yawn. Stop yawning! You’re making me.
Zach: Well go to bed.
Liz: You go to bed. You’re the one watching QVC.
Zach: QVC? I thought it was Baywatch.
Liz: Baywatch is on at 1:00 I think. Oooooh – check out that watch. That’s stylin.
Zach: Picking up the remote. There’s got to be something else on.
Liz: Yawns. Oy vey! Stretches. I’m going to bed. Stands.
Zach: Want me to join you?
Liz: Exiting. Not really. You smell.
Zach: I smell? I do not. I think I took a shower today. Pretty sure I did. Sniffs himself. Maybe that was yesterday. Zach flips through channels.
A pause.
Zach: Oh - Liz! Liz! I Dream of Jeannie.
Liz: Entering. Oh sweet. I can’t watch, though – I really need to get some sleep. A brief pause while Liz watches TV. Hey – I’ve got a 12 tomorrow so if Mikey gets home don’t let him wake me up, okay?
Zach: If I’m up I’ll tell him. You’re only working 12 hours tomorrow?
Liz: Well, I’ve got clinics all night.
Zach: Oh. You’ve got a 12 before clinics?
Liz: Yep.
Zach: Wow. Good night.
Liz: Exiting. Good night.
A pause. Zach moves from the chair to the floor.
Mike enters. He is slightly inebriated and talking on a cell phone.
Mike: In phone. Well, you gotta make whatever choices you gotta make. I’m in your corner – you know that. Yep, okay, see you tomorrow. Closes phone.
Zach: Hey.
Mike: Lizzie home yet?
Zach: She actually just went to bed.
Mike: Exasperated. Directors, you know?
Zach: What’s that?
Mike: Oh, Berk’s busting our asses. He loudly drops his keys on the floor.
Zach: Hey – I promised her we’d keep it down. She’s got a long day tomorrow.
Mike: Jesus. She has got to unwind.
Zach: Standing. Uses remote to turn off TV. Not everyone’s got time for that.
Mike: Huh?
Zach: I said I’m going to bed.
Mike: You wanna do some Madden? Makes motions with hands indicating playing game controllers.
Zach: Naw, not tonight.
Mike: Come on, one game. I’ll let you be the Pack. Grabs game controllers.
Zach: Really, not tonight.
Mike: One game.
Zach: I gotta get up early.
Mike: What the hell? That’s all I ever hear from you two. “I’m tired. I gotta get up early.” One game – come on.
Zach: Sitting down to play. Okay. Just one, man.
Mike: So, Berk’s totally busting our asses. He’s being a total dic . . .tator.
Zach: Really? Why are you being the Cowboys? I thought you were going to be the Pack.
Mike: The Pack sucks. You be them.
Zach: I’m being the Bears.
Mike: There’s a shocker. But so today, Berk’s like - to Anders – he’s like ‘I think your performance is suffering’ –
Zach: Well, isn’t that kind of his job? Isn’t that what your fearless leader is supposed to do?
Mike: That’s not the point though. Nice pass.
The next several lines are spoken more or less on top of one another, as Zach and Mike carry on a conversation and play the video game.
Zach: Almost picked off.
Mike: There’s just no room for error with this guy – and there is so much that should be open to interpretation. I mean sure, some stuff - First down – is open and shut but some stuff -
Zach: If you say so.
Mike: Guy’s just being a jerk. Get ready – get ready –
Zach: Intercepted!
Mike: Oh crap!
Zach: Go baby go – go baby go – touchdown!
Mike: Crap!!!!
Zach: Whoo-hoo!!!!
Liz appears in the doorway. PJs, messy hair, etc.
Liz: Hey! I am trying to sleep! I’ve got to get up at 5:00 – can’t you go in one of your rooms or something?
Zach: Oh sorry. Stands. You know what, I’m going to bed.
Mike: What? That was just one score.
Liz: I don’t care – I just gotta sleep. Exits.
Mike: Good night Lizzie!
Liz: Good night, Mikey!
Mike: Zach – come on – at least finish the half.
Zach: Just play the machine. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Mike: You’re a loser.
Zach: Yeah, right. Exits.
Mike resumes playing the game. After a brief pause, his phone rings. He answers it.
Mike: Hello. Nah, I’m playing Madden. Yeah, I read it once but I need to look at it again. I just can’t tonight – I need to unwind. Maybe tomorrow. How about that today, huh? I can’t wait until it’s my turn, I’m going to kick all your asses - just watch me. Heh heh. But tomorrow though – you wanna go over it? Cool. Okay – yep, bye. Hangs up.
Mike continues to play the game, lights fade to low. After a couple moments, lights come back up. It is now early morning. Liz enters, dressed but disheveled. Mike stops playing, puts controller down, turns off TV. Liz prepares to leave for the day – puts things into a back pack, puts on shoes, etc.
Liz: Morning.
Mike: Hi.
Liz: You play that thing all night?
Mike: Stretching. Maybe.
Liz: Nice.
Mike: Don’t be so anal, Lizzie.
Liz: It’s not like I could just stay up all night playing games and then go do my job the next day.
Mike: You stay up all night at your job at least twice a week. This is just a different use of time.
Liz: That’s different. I’m also an intern.
Mike: I’m an intern.
Liz pauses, as if this is news to her.
Liz: I guess you are, huh. That’s kind of funny.
Mike: I wonder if intern if just one of those really generic words. I wonder how many people in our age group are some kind of intern. Maybe intern is just another word for “slave.”
Liz: Or “grunt.”
Mike: “Underpaid young person with a degree.”
Liz: Basically. Still, not many interns I know can just goof off all night. Starts to exit.
Mike: You wanna switch internships?
Liz: Stops. Do you seriously, honestly think your life is actually as difficult as mine? I mean, overall? Not just the job – but your life?
Mike: Not again, Lizzie. I don’t know why neither of you has any respect –
Liz: It’s not that I don’t respect what you do. But – you barely make a living wage. You have time to go out. You basically stand around all day, watching -
Mike: Some of us aren’t lucky enough to be in a profession where we’ll be rich in just a couple years.
Liz: I’ll hardly be rich. And I’ve got to work really hard. And I rarely have free weekends – I work days in a row – Zach and I both work holidays – who knows if I’ll have time for a family –
Mike: Now you’re being melodramatic – a family?!
Liz: Melodramatic? That’s real nice coming from you. You’ll work – what – long hours yes but -
Mike: Like I’ve got a family – like you even want a family –
Liz: I might someday. The point is – I know what you do is time consuming – but it is not the same as my life. Or Zach’s. And if anything you’ll be the rich one. I’ll be working hours you can’t even think of.
Mike: Like I’ve never, ever worked a 48 hour day.
Pause as they regard each other.
Mike: Go on. You’re going to be late.
Liz: Exiting. I don’t even know why we have this conversation.
Mike: To an empty stage. Because it’s so much fun.
Mike looks around, not sure of what to do with himself. Yawns, stretches. Decides to go to bed. Zach enters – he is a bit more put together than Liz. Obviously in a rush.
Zach: Morning. You’re up early.
Mike: Actually, I’m up late.
Zach: Ah.
Mike: You off?
Zach: I remembered that we’ve got a visitor this morning, and I want to go in and see if I can learn something. Supposed to be this fairly radical new technique. So – yeah, I’m going. What about you?
Mike: I think I’m going to take a nap. I don’t have to be anywhere until 9:00.
Zach: See you later. Exits.
Mike: Exiting. ‘Night.
Lights fade. After a couple moments, they come up again. It is now early evening. Zach enters. He is wearing very plain, loose fitting clothes which are nearly covered in blood. He looks shaken and upset. He stands in the living room as through trying to process or come to terms with something.
After a brief pause, Mike enters. He is also wearing plain clothes, with a sweater vest over them. One of his sleeves is very bloody, as are his shoes – although overall he is not nearly as bloody as Zach.
Zach and Mike look at each other and notice the blood on the other’s clothes.
Zach: What the hell happened to you?
Mike: I could ask the same thing. Bad day?
Zach: It was mostly the same old stuff. Although I did try something new and -
Mike: Is there some day you’re not going to come home covered in that stuff?
Zach: What about you?
Mike: Affecting a Monty Python accent. “Merely a flesh wound.”
Zach exits to bathroom.
Mike: Yeah – you clean up! I’ll just stand here and drip.
Sound of water running.
Zach: offstage I can’t hear you!
Mike: I said no no – you go first! Really! I should probably burn this shirt anyway.
Mike removes his shoes, trying not to get more blood on his hands. Exits to his room.
Zach enters from bathroom. He is in his underwear, carrying his clothes in a ball. Ducks in to his room to throw down his bloody clothes and grab a pair of jeans and a shirt.
Zach: during the above Mikey – are you going to be around for dinner or are you heading back out?
Mike: offstage What?
Zach: onstage now I said DO YOU WANT PIZZA????
Mike enters, wearing a different shirt.
Mike: I’m heading back out. Anders and I were going to run over some stuff.
Mike exits to bathroom. Sound of running water.
Zach: Okay. He looks around, finds a pizza delivery menu.
Mike enters.
Mike: You wanna come out with us?
Zach: To study?
Mike: We’ll be at Murphy’s.
Zach: I can’t believe you can study at a bar. Seriously, how is that even possible?
Mike: When you’re good you’re good. And it’s not a fricking bar. It’s more like a student center.
Zach: I’m not kidding, isn’t that distracting?
Mike: White noise helps me think.
Zach: I think I’ll call it an early night.
Mike: It’s not even 10:00!
Zach: It’s Wednesday!
Mike: Whatever. You want to be here when Liz gets home.
Zach: So what if I do?
Mike: I don’t want to come home and find you two going at it in the middle of the living room.
Mike goes to leave.
Mike: You sure you’re staying in, loser?
Zach: Have fun studying in a bar.
Mike: exiting Have fun staring at Liz as she stomps off to bed.
Zach looks over menu, decides what to order. Picks up portable phone and starts dialing while exiting to his room.
Lights down to low, lights back up. It is now very early morning. Zach and Mike are each asleep in their rooms. Liz enters – throws down keys, throws down bag, removes shoes, etc. Trudges into bathroom. After a couple seconds . . .
Liz: entering living room EWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Jesus Christ!!!!!
No answer from the guys. Liz is mad.
Liz: I said GODDAMMIT!!!! Who the HELL left blood on the SINK????
Zach: entering What’s wrong? Are you okay?
Liz: There is goddamn blood on the goddamn sink. I haven’t been home in 24 hours and all I want to do is wash my face and there’s goddamn blood all over the goddamn sink.
Zach: Heading to bathroom, but not exiting Well then wipe it off – it’s not that big a deal.
Liz: It is dried and caked on!! Exiting to Mike’s room.
A brief pause.
Liz: offstage Mike! MIKE!!!!! You left blood on the sink again!!! What is wrong with you????
Mike: offstage – very sleepy voice How do you know it was me? He came home covered in it!!!
Zach: I didn’t leave any in the sink though. Come on that’s gross!
Liz: offstage, yelling over Zach I don’t care! Just clean it up – that’s disgusting!
Mike stomps on stage, exits towards bathroom
Mike: I’ll use your towel you stupid banshee.
Liz: entering behind Mike Don’t you use my towel!!!!
Zach: Liz, calm down.
Liz: Is it real or fake?
Zach: What?
Liz: The blood. Is it real or fake?
Mike enters - shoves a towel at Liz.
Mike: It’s off the goddamn sink. I’m going back to bed.
Liz: I said don’t use my towel!
Mike: offstage. Over Liz. It’s not your stupid towel!!!
Liz: IS THIS BLOOD REAL OR FAKE MIKE??????
Mike: offstage How in the hell should I know???
Liz: Zach? Real or fake?
Zach: Calm down.
Liz: Real or . . .
Zach: I don’t fricking know!!!!
A beat. Liz tastes the blood on the towel.
Liz: Fake.
Another beat.
Liz: Can you guys please just not leave this stuff in the sink? Please. That’s all I ask.
Zach: Liz –
Liz: Weary I’m going to bed.
She throws the towel towards the bathroom. Shuffles off to bed.
Zach watches Liz exit, then he exits to his room.
Lights low. Liz and Zach enter, cross to couch and sit. They watch TV, with the sound very low. Lights up slightly – it is now late the following evening.
Zach: SVU is one of the best programs ever.
Liz: Yeah, it’s pretty good. I think it’s love it or hate it, though.
Zach: It’s way better than the other Law & Orders.
Liz: The original is pretty good.
Zach: The reruns maybe – not the new ones.
Liz: Reruns are interesting.
Zach: You mean in general or for this show?
Liz: In general. It’s like – a time capsule. Here’s the show – again.
Zach: What are you talking about?
Liz: I guess I should say – TV is kind of cool. I mean, like an archive. A recording. And it’s going to be the same forever and ever and ever.
Zach: Unless something happens to the tape. Like it disintegrates or gets lost or something.
Liz: Huh – I guess so. But in general – TV keeps things. It’s not like what we do. It’s not like – the stuff you and I work with – it’s always – dying . . .
Zach: I wouldn’t say it’s dying.
Liz: I guess Mike too, to some extent. What we work with – everything – as soon as something starts – at the moment of – creation – it’s already dying. Like, ending.
Zach: Sure, I guess . . . .
Liz: But – do you know what I mean? It’s like – even though you’re just starting out – or even though there might not be anything seriously wrong – no matter what we do to it – nothing lasts forever. You’re not going to find immortality.
Zach: People on TV are still going to die. Shows are still going to end.
Liz: Yes, but . . . I don’t know. That just strikes me some times. We work so hard and –
Zach: It’s all going to end anyway.
Liz: I don’t mean it to sounds quite that bleak.
Zach: I think I do know what you mean.
Liz: Like – yesterday – what have you got to show for yesterday?
Zach: You mean other than a few bloodstains in the sink?
Liz hits him.
Liz: That’s not funny.
Zach: Yes, it is.
Liz: I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to have something – something more tangible and permanent for all of the work –
Mike enters abruptly. His entrance breaks the mood between Zach and Liz and they stare at him.
Mike: What? Did I interrupt something?
Liz: Do you ever feel like all the work you do is for nothing?
Mike: Offended For nothing?????
Liz: Yeah, I mean . . .
Mike: I don’t know how in the hell you can say my work means nothing. I don’t care what kind of ‘my life is harder than yours’ crap you want to claim, what I do is not nothing. Just ask . . .
Zach: Chill out. That’s not what she’s saying.
Liz: What I mean is, no matter how hard any of us works, you or me or Zach – ultimately everything dies or ends or comes to a close anyway.
Mike sits down next to them.
Mike: What are you, high or something?
Liz: No. A beat. It’s just something I was thinking.
Mike: Feeling under appreciated?
Liz: Nope.
An extended pause.
Mike: Yeah, yeah actually, I do know what you mean.
Liz: Thank you.
Zach: I knew what you meant.
Liz: Never said you didn’t.
Mike: I’m surprised actually that both of you are up.
Liz: They had too many of us tonight. I basically got sent home.
Zach: To Mike Why are you home?
Mike: Long day. Very long day.
Zach: My tomorrow is bad.
Mike: Do we have to watch SVU?
Liz: Yes.
An extended pause.
Liz: To Mike How old were you when you knew what you wanted to be?
Mike: Huh?
Liz: How old were you when you decided what you wanted your job to be when you grew up?
Mike: 15.
Liz: Huh. That’s younger than I thought.
Mike: Why, what about you?
Liz: 7.
Mike: 7? And you never changed your mind?
Liz: Nope.
Mike: Wow.
Liz: Zach?
Zach: I don’t remember. Junior year I think. Of high school. Why do you ask?
Liz: I just remember – I was playing with my doll – and I went running to my mom and said that my doll had scarlet fever –
Mike: That’s cheerful –
Liz: And I described all of these details like – she was really hot and turning bright red – because I knew scarlet meant “red” – and she had to get to surgery right away or else she’d die and if she died then my whole world would be over – and I used the phrase “my whole world will be over!” because I’d heard it on a soap opera or something –
Zach: Dork.
Liz: And my mom said – you’re such a little actress. And I asked her what an actress was and she said it was like the people on TV – people who pretended to be other people or who pretended to be upset because their dolls were sick. And I thought that sounded cool. And so I decided I wanted to be an actress.
Mike: Awwww.
Liz: I think up until then I’d wanted to be a doctor.
Mike: That’s kind of funny.
Liz: What made you decide to become a doctor?
Mike: You’ll think it’s gross.
Liz: Naw, tell me.
Mike: We dissected a frog in biology.
Liz: Ewwwww!
Mike: And I thought it was cool. To look on the inside and see how all of these things worked together and helped the frog jump around and eat and grow and crap. And then I thought that if a frog was cool, then people must be cooler.
Liz: Seriously.
Mike: Yep.
Liz: And Zach, what about you?
Zach: Kind of like you. Took some acting classes, decided it sounded like a good gig. I don’t know.
A short pause.
Liz: Did you ever think it would be so hard?
Zach: No. Simultaneously with Mike.
Mike: Nope.
Liz: Me either.
End
Lights fade out.
*************************
This is still in draft form, but I'm happy with it. Later this year I might try to find a performance life for it.
Written Feb. 2007
Posted by acr at March 8, 2007 07:00 PM